Often as I sit quietly first thing in the morning watching the light gradually seep over the top of the valley hills I am overwhelmed by the gift arriving at my feet. There is always a moment when I really feel the new beginning and the clarity of the possibility held in those first rays of light, which never ceases to make my heart beat a little faster as the enormity of my part in a day meets mind and heart with a jolt.
The same old same old is not something that comes to mind rather it’s, oh goodness I am still alive and it begins again, let me honour this gift as best I may.
I begin my day with the first of five ‘petitions’ which I spread out through the day, they have no set time or place that they must be said and some days I have just the wee book I have put them in, in my hand as offering.
There was a time I felt I failed if I didn’t recite from memory these petitions, which I composed to keep me focussed on what I understand as important to me living as ‘successfully’ as I may, but life has a way of pulling such rugs from under my feet and always for the better, even if I may feel a little bruised by the happening at first.
So, today my small petitions book is always at hand so I may read the petitions. The daily five are simply titled waking, morning, afternoon, evening and night. Though waking and night are the only ones that are said around the same time but it is around a time rather than a specific minute on a clock, this is no bells and cloistered life I lead.
The rhythm of each day will inform me when is good to stop and focus, as each day has some set points invariably these petitions fall in step with these small daily happenings, which really means everything, as I have definitely found myself realising that from cleaning the toilet to weaving a wall hanging, from clipping my hair to clipping a hedge, from playing with the dogs to playing with print all are part of my creative daily life there is no delineation between the a creative project and a creative life for it is in the process of moving towards that heart mind and ideas open up.
That the many time I can ‘only’ sit propped up in bed watching the light play on the trees outside the window are all part of the process too. Moving towards doesn’t require anything to be done just for me to be…ready, committed, enquiring and open.
Holding a book may seem a strange way to ask for, make ready, be open and focussed but I really believe a book of intent doesn’t lose its intentions simply because the owner is unable to open it. Nor do the intentions of the person holding the book become diminished by the lack of reading and giving voice to the words. The words have been said in the composing and are part of the experience and memory of the body even when the memory fails.
Be they words composed by myself or by others a book is their repository rather than prison, even books that are never opened but sit on a shelf watching give me sense of being surround by silent wisdom that seeps in to my days when I’m not looking. That few books lay unread on my shelves is true but the few that do are valued companions nonetheless.
I know that today the Kindle and the like are supposedly fast replacing the book but having spoken to those who have these devices I have found that nearly all have actually started to purchase more paper made books too and all without exception have mentioned the difference in tactile experience that they never really understood before they got their reading device.
For me the words in a book are energy waiting to blast open my heart and mind, fill me with expectation and galvanise faltering steps in to strides, in my case rather small strides these days, but most of all they are companions for a moment and in that moment I am given the gift of conversing with another’s mind and moment which for something as seemingly simple – paper, ink and card has is and will always be revolutionary in lives and living.
Some of the most exciting, enthralling and dare I say it sensual places for me are bookshops and libraries some of my most ‘memorable’ encounters have always been around books be the ideas found within the covers or the people who open the covers for me.
However today, when it comes to my day to day living, the books that form my cheer leading team are my petitions book, my sketch/note/day book and a cook book which I’m slowly creating, with reference to the many cook books I have shelves crammed with and recipes from friends and my Mum, to enable me to ‘remember’ favourite foods plus have a record for anyone else who may need to know what I eat or don’t.
The petitions book helps me draw on what I already know but have difficulty to remember, it helps me feel as focussed and prepared for each day as I may and it offers me a safe place to stop, draw energy and relax in to the moment.
As one day turns towards the next these are the words I will say…
NIGHT PRAYER
In this hour let me prepare for sleep with peace;
may my mind, body, heart and the centre of me know all is well.
Help me realise the day is over, tomorrow but a promise
and this moment my only reality,
O Night in your certainty and retreat.
Give me rest and renewal of thought
Transform the day's rigors in to joy
Release all stress and recover through Earth’s power to heal
Let my inactivity and sleep bring the elements of life in to my being.
Give harmony to my mind.
Purpose to my spirit.
Light to the centre of me.
Let Love be my law and my belief.
Let mind, body, heart and wisdom be united in light, for light, with light, through light.
IN MY MIND –
…May clarity of desire be found in the Earth.
…May the contentment of commitment be my guide
…May I see responsibility and response as joy and gift.
…May I resolve all turmoil through your peace.
…Let the discipline of letting go be my only activity.
…Let the light of illumination be born of the fire in my heart.
…Let me release all thought of work into the dark.
…Let the love that echoes in the stars consume all fear.
…Give me dreams to colour my days with light.
…Give me purpose as means of gentle sleep.
…Give me realisation in the silent night of the Earth.
…Give me the abundance found in being
IN MY BODY -
…May I surrender with cheerfulness to the dark in the knowledge of the light.
…May I find deliverance from aches and pains in the hours of the stars.
…May the act of retiring be an expression of simplicity born of trust.
…May the gentleness of the dark relax but never overcome me.
…Let me be prepared to embrace the purity of the Earth.
…Let life restore my energies and commitment in stillness.
…Let the wholeness of the Earth energise my flesh.
…Let me release all tension in the laughter of the Earth.
…Give me sense of my place in the creation of the Earth.
…Give me means to devotion even in to sleep.
…Give me peace in the very fibers’ of my makeup.
…Give me power through fearless journeying into the dark.
IN MY HEART –
…May my delight of the day transport me through the night.
…May I find in the deepest dark the generosity of the light.
…May I respect the need for rest and gently lay all down.
…May I approach each moment, each breath with openness.
…Let the persistence of the impulse of the Earth be mine.
…Let the insight brought in darkness complete me.
…Let me realise fulfillment is journeying into the dark lightly.
…Let the quietness of the Earth release all yearning and give me rest.
…Give me reason to know joy is mine in trust.
…Give me openness so I may honor even in dreams.
…Give me knowledge of the mystery and majesty of the Earth.
…Give me passion for the light finding meaning in the sanctity of each moment.
AT MY CENTRE -
…May I challenge that which is false and accept the need for change.
…May I find truth and rest in the guiding power of light.
…May the doubts and fear that would assail me be transformed by light.
…May I be filled with the happiness of the stars song.
…Let my constancy release all doubt and reflect only light.
…Let the resilience of life feed me and build up my steadfastness.
…Let me in all humility give over all ego to the Earth.
…Let the courage of truth guide my journey into the dark.
…Give me means to express thanks even in sleep.
…Give me rest from seeking and find refuge in the moment.
…Give me renewal of purpose, possibility and peace.
…Give me glimpse of the mystery held in the Earth and may I be ready to understand.
LET LOVE BE MY LAW AND MY BELIEF.
As in Spring let the seeds of love germinate within me. May I be prepared and ready for growth and receive life with joy. Give me the ease of acceptance, the comfort of stars and the certainty born in darkness.
In Me, For Me, With Me, Through Me, LOVE.
As in Summer let the warmth of life bear me onwards. May my dreams be filled with the mystery of the Earth. Give me light to understand and discern between dream and reality.
In Me, For Me, With Me, Through Me, LOVE.
As in Autumn let the acceptance of letting go be mine. May I rejoice in loss through the revelation of the Earth. Give me peace to waken with conviction and commitment
In Me, For Me, With Me, Through Me, LOVE.
As in Winter let the darkness wrap me in the promise of light. May I reflect upon and renew my intent leaving all sense of lack in the night. Give me afresh the certainty of your majesty and enfold me in your unfathomable fullness
In Me. For Me, With Me, Through Me. LOVE.
Let Love be my law and my faith.
May that which is other
Unseen and unimagined
Be embraced and enveloped in my all
I rest my mind in the dark,
I rest my body in the dark,
I rest my heart in the dark,
I rest the centre of me in the dark
I find my mind engulfed in light,
I find my body engulfed in light,
I find my heart engulfed in light,
I find the centre of me engulfed in light.
Let light and I be one this night
Make it so