Vernacular Wandering

Marking a Day

Often as I sit quietly first thing in the morning watching the light gradually seep over the top of the valley hills I am overwhelmed by the gift arriving at my feet. There is always a moment when I really feel the new beginning and the clarity of the possibility held in those first rays of light, which never ceases to make my heart beat a little faster as the enormity of my part in a day meets mind and heart with a jolt.

The same old same old is not something that comes to mind rather it’s, oh goodness I am still alive and it begins again, let me honour this gift as best I may.

I begin my day with the first of five ‘petitions’ which I spread out through the day, they have no set time or place that they must be said and some days I have just the wee book I have put them in, in my hand as offering.

 

Memory

 The line crackled and the tears fell as I caught the cadence of a voice I had not heard for thirty five years. There was no hello, no may I speak to, or even this is. No, I heard the words ‘are you still a full participant my friend’ followed by a laugh I thought I had lost forever but whose owner had never left my heart, even when I could not remember their name or their face that laugh would follow me in to dreams and find me looking round hopefully when someone else’s laugh stirred a memory that slipped through my fingers as I scrabbled to just hold on to it for another moment.

Through a revolution and a war or two that voice and laugh lifted my spirit and held my hand even when I believed the human being had been lost. More than anything the phrase ‘are you still a full participant’ made absolutely sure that this lost soul never gave up on promises made midst laughter and love that there was only one thing we’d never give up on and that was life.

No great ambition then, only to always be a full participant in life no matter the cost.

Learning

I have recently been helping someone learn how to use a rigid heddle loom after she asked if I might be selling one of my looms. I said I wasn’t selling one but one I had given on long term loan would be coming back to me very soon and she could borrow it if she put it together as it had been broken down for travelling.

So the loom came back and was delivered in to very eager hands. I gave her the instructions to put the stand together, the booklet that originally came with the loom - a 16inch Ashford Rigid Heddle Loom, plus a copy of the Ashford book of Rigid Heddle weaving and a DVD showing the direct warp method.

Saying don’t worry just take it slowly and all the pieces will make a loom and a stand plus watch the DVD a few times and read the warping pages of the book and I’ll come back on Tuesday afternoon and see how you’ve got on, this was a Sunday afternoon so I thought she would manage to put the loom together and on the stand plus probably have a go at warping as she was so thrilled and enthusiastic.

 

Strength

Today has been a looong day, the kind that are often part of my life these days... appointments to keep which involve some medical procedure or other that lead to me beginning to feel oft times redundant as me the human being and obviously 'only' the patient with number and illness.

This feeling is rarely embraced by me instead I look around in the waiting rooms I find myself before consultation or procedure and actively set out to note those around me offering a smile and a nod in recognition.

Today has been a looong day but making another patient laugh and relax as we sat waiting our trips in the noisy washing machine - MRI scanner, let me be the human being I hope to be at least for a moment each day.