Blue Moon Year

Day 173 June

some battled tree roots I wrestled infected legs tablets cleansing dressings pain

watched woodpecker for a long time it unaffected by my presence I deeply so

struggling to connect information and energy with balance but knowing is a step

watching a consummate skill in action grateful it’s exercised to help work here

 

A very long day of negotiations and further negotiations, tirades and tantrums from THE neighbour so much so she almost caused herself and another serious injury by her silly and dangerous behaviour. There were absolute surreal moments which were difficult not to laugh at but sad lives are sad lives even if they are a pain in the arse so continued to explain gently the danger and folly and circumvent the deliberate hindrance with a smile and a thank you as work continued much to her confusion. It slowed progress down very definitely but first thing tomorrow morning final digging with machine will happen then base can begin to be made. So glad this work is the last that will be so obvious to her just wondering how will I manage the rest that needs attending to but as there is no one else the answer is it has to be me.

Day 172 June

solstice is marked with stone and soil paired to create chance magnificence in skill

responding to environmental boundaries imagination flies giving possibility hope

Helped find the dressed stone to make the new steps very swish but almost immediately looking as if they have been in place for many, many years. Nothing being used was farther from the site than area around cottage, all materials were rescued recycled renewed in their involvement in the building of the steps.We totted up how much the materials used might have cost to buy and could not get below £300 no matter what way we looked at it. I am thankful again for living in a forgotten place where imagination can operate.

 

 

Day 171 June

driving along sun dappled roads trying to connect silent passenger with beauty

thoughts of ice cream people watching motor bikes raises a head elicits a nod

sat midst all manner of bikes leather garbed riders ice cream devoured with relish

driving home he notices the trees hills sheep wears his new biker shades smiling

 

I made no card, bought no present but decided he would go out for a few hours. Went over in late morning to find he was only just agreeing to get up and refusing to open his eyes etc.  Sat with him for a while managed to get him to open his eyes and say hello, though he announced ‘oh it’s you’ with rather more sneer than smile. Informed him I would be back to pick him up after his Sunday lunch as we were going out without giving him time to begin the list of why this could not happen. Of course it was difficult; of course I didn’t have to do it but knew he needed to have a chance to look up somehow so pressed on. He will almost certainly not really remember much if anything of the day but he’ll have his new sunglasses and may be he’ll ask about them and can be told about his adventure midst the Harley’s, Kawasaki’s and ice cream.

Day 170 June

the fragrance of early morning gloriously wrapped in honeysuckle and roses lives

I cradle it gently knowing how precious this moment is for a gentle day ahead

 

No climbing ladders or painting twenty plus feet above the ground I had a very quiet day discovering poems and poets enjoying the rhythm of their thoughts in words spread as waves on the page which I first paddled in then swam in to deep water finding myself catching my breath but enjoying the sense of being alive. A line of a Seamus Heaney poem popped in to my brain which I think was about the writing process, the search for words to form the rhythm of what is seen and felt but this line seems too good to lose again so it will be my reminder for the coming months leading up to Winter Solstice “And catch the heart off guard and blow it open.”

Day 169 June

sometimes biting a bullet is the softest experience for mind and heart if not flesh

standing in the shower trying to find something that didn’t hurt made me laugh

in laughter came intent lots of foolishness but most belief I had to go on just do it

pain nudged out of the way by colour  life is a dream expressed even as it hurts

 

The wall and I got up close and intimate, anyone passing must have wondered about the dirty bare feet poking out over the end of the scaffolding boards but lying down proved to be the only way I could manage to plod along at times.

Interesting to find I’d been watched closely by THE neighbour who informed she had watched me last night too. I thought she was going to give me her usual tirade but there was a pause and then she smiled telling me she was amazed to see me go right up to the top by the chimney and get a felt tip out of my pocket and begin to ‘just’ draw. Then you carried paint up there – oh boy do I know I did that, and even though you crawled some of the way you kept going. When I came out this morning it was like you had been there all night but I checked at 10 pm and didn’t see you…I didn’t tell her there was a moment when I’d considered having to lay down and sleep up there it was a very, very long journey back to the ground. She then said a most amazing thing, ‘you look like you are in a lot of pain and are very tired but I knew you’d do whatever you were starting last night as it looked like it was something you had to do.’  The jutting chin and fixed expression must have given the game away.

Scaffolders arrive early tomorrow to take it all down. The builders popped by this afternoon to confirm their start on Monday with digger and sledge hammer could not quite believe I had not only climbed the scaffolding but had done all the painting with a 2inch brush or smaller. Think I managed to get some street cred!

Day 168 June

a doctor with more ticks than a room full of clocks is emergency response to legs

pain killers antibiotics lots of water gritted teeth  climb ladders move very slowly

 

Could not let the opportunity of having the scaffolding erected go to waste knowing it is all going to be taken down by weekend. Set goals for the evening and tomorrow, know copious amounts of bloody mindedness will be needed on top of chemicals. Not really sure what is going to appear, made a few doodles in waiting room and realised some sort of tree has kept appearing plus the sun. Decided to just start with a black sharpie and draw directly on to wall, stay free and open just play and enjoy. Large sun balloons and tree emerged know also that some big flowers will also be added  but concentrated on everything that is way above my step ladder or ladder platform took small steps and high steps up on to scaffolding so I could climb from one platform to another without trying to swing up as per builders. Did hurt but felt elated above all the pain to actually be standing level with the chimney doodling with a black sharpie.

Decanted paint in to small lightweight paint kettles, put water, cloths and brushes in to canvas shoulder bag, small plastic step to act as stool, all carried up the ladders and on to the platforms. Prep and carrying probably took a couple of hours then I managed to paint two coats on the sun and three balloons. Lots of leaning sitting and lying in between action; glorious to be surrounded by bird song and be visited by one of the new fledgling woodpeckers.

Day 167 June

weather was kind allowing the colour coat to go on pine end amusing builders

interesting to hear the change from you aren’t serious to enjoying the colour

in a lot of pain today seems legs have managed to create another infection

another trip to a waiting room no doubt tomorrow but today I bathed in orange

 

Runner beans and strawberries are doing well, blueberries look as if I will enjoy more than a few breakfasts with their accompaniment, blackcurrants seem to be swelling well and gooseberries have not been hit by blight, yet., even a few more apples have appeared on the dwarf trees in pots. Watering regularly feeding picking off snails seems to be working:0)  Some containers to still sort out but gradually the yard is taking off and becomes more precious each time I find a berry or new leaf.

Began to doodle a design for the pine end hope to try and at least outline it before the scaffolding gets taken down as will make the painting easier later but definitely need to have legs looked at tomorrow as they have not improved and I feel like shit really. Will hire a lightweight scaffolding tower if needs be so will not worry overly about the design being done and dusted in the next couple of days.

Day 166 June

another waiting room with forms questions, a generous practitioner who smiled

after treat of coriander coconut and carrot soup at quiet table in bookshop joy

 

Found the colour of paint for attic just need the energy to use it now. Finding continuous question decision intervention needed to keep builders on track as to what this eccentric woman wants very tiring but they are getting it, discovering they actually like some of the ideas and working hard so there is nothing to complain about just the relentless pace going on around me is quite confusing for me. However, youngest of the two now sends me emails so, as he put it, you can have what we agree in front of you and read it as many times as you want to be able to remember and then grinned kindly. He really has realised it wasn’t a joke when I said I had a memory difficulty. He has also been very careful to run through the proposed schedule for the day each morning they arrive, which has really been a help. The next ten working days will be very difficult but hopefully by then three major parts of the work will be complete.

I’m taking July and part of August as rest time also time to prepare for the last major incursion in to this normally quiet place when two windows will be taken out, lintels and possibly sills replaced and stone work made good plus fireplace lintel in kitchen raised. Then consideration of flooring will need to happen, ah more choices and decisions

Day 165 June

sense of the enormity of what I’ve taken on creeps up and shouts boo

I neither jump nor laugh but smile inwardly in knowledge of truth expanded

still trying to decide if I am walking towards a mirage or something solidly real

realising this doesn’t matter one way or the other but walking towards does

 

Needed to drive to Swansea to go to specialist outlet for materials the builders will need to complete the first stage of the work in the way I wish. Interesting problem caused by withdrawal of particular material I wanted but managed to circumvent this by a bit of lateral thinking, just hope it works.

Looked at paint samples for decorating the new attic wall, need to look at them at different times through a day to consider the effect on the light space and ambiance there

Day 164 June

more washing on the line thankful for a dry morning before rain arrived heavily

bruising pretty spectacular after latest fall leg is yet again strapped but mobile

Listened to The Sixteen on CD during the afternoon as the rain fell heavily and I planned out the stages of the building work still to come. Know the builders and I need to discuss this so we can make sure materials are here when they need them and I am not spending money when it’s not really needed. The next stage of work has been discussed, builders have agreed they want to do the work just the small matter of getting costing out of them in writing. Must underline I will not sanction them starting on this without me having costing breakdown in writing. They just hate doing paperwork of any kind which is kind of shooting themselves in the foot especially having seen their work and working ethos first hand.