Small thought

So a new month arrives, another week has passed and I find myself considering where am I?

It would be easy to say, at home watching the heavy rain pelt the window and two rambunctious dogs wrestle around on the sitting room rug and leave it at that but my wondering has been about geography both internal and external and I find when they are both combined as they always are, no matter how hard this mind often tries to  separate them, the landscape of the personal and of the world takes on a very different topography and I find maps, charts and plans need appraisal, updating, re-configuring and often just plain ripping up and starting again.

This goes for day to day, hour by hour as well as month or years and is the place I find I need position energy, intent and acceptance of the highest magnitude to make sense and semblance of a life I call mine.

Someone said to me recently that the ‘one day at a time’ mode of living was all very well and good but they needed goals and plans way beyond that if meaning and any sort of purpose, sense, living seemed worth bothering about. I knew what they meant and on some levels agreed with what they were saying but it has niggled at me since on a deeper level for my self and midst watching rain fall and dodging the joyful games of Rhys and Banon as I cleaned up a somewhat dishevelled kitchen I found myself smiling at the thought of the goals and plans in my life and how often they have been at the very least modified and more often wrecked or obliterated by the one day at a time and how fortunate I am that this has happened and will no doubt continue to happen.

Looking out, looking up, stepping towards, reaching forwards, building, creating, designing are all words and actions in my life many of which could be part of a plan, means to reach a goal, the way to express the aim to find completion but to my mind, heart and body not to mention my spirit:0), they are just the small part of the proverbial iceberg which is noticeable to the casual eye or careless lookout for beneath the obvious there is a vast panoply of other.

The kind of other that has little to do with words or lines on paper drawn in the earth lost in the sand spelt out with leaves or pebbles trailed with dripping bucket or sprinkled crumbs. Nothing identifiable that marks the way to go or the way travelled rather there is nothing and everything held on a breath expressed in a moment understood in a second and lost to eternity.

Time is nothing but a pause to gain momentum to nowhere so I would rather be nowhere and finding myself stood in the moment becoming.

(just to say that Stepping Stones stretched and shook itself into life today too, Sunday Tuesday and Thursday posts have begun again,tentatively as I say there but with sense I need that small space to be awake too)

Comments

[caroline]

No matter what we WOULD do, all we CAN do is be. You say it so well...

[Cathy]

I've only read this through once and found myself inwardly gasping at the delicate sensibility, the apprehension of beauty, of life, of all it entails and your gift for putting it in strands of words that a poet would envy. But above all that - it's that smile that is conveyed - that life-affirming smile - it brings us fellow pilgrims back time after time after time. Thanks, DW