Solitary Living

During the last few weeks I have been thinking lots about the solitary life. Or as I like to call it ‘the solo tarrying life.’ For many people the idea of a solitary life means being alone, bereft in some way or conversely living life on some higher plain as mystic or holy person. Well, neither is what I think of when I consider my solo tarrying life.

I know that personally I have huge streak of hermit / recluse running through me which on so many levels would be easy to slip into and clothe myself in completely.

I am at home with my own company and enjoy the silence, self order and self-determination that solitary life affords. I also know it is certainly not hearts and flowers all the way and that the solitary life offers as many if not more challenges than so called rewards.

Yes it is a joy and a freedom some would say a selfishness to have days, weeks, months to order and utilise for myself but it is also huge responsibility that means hard work, not a little stress, a fair amount of loneliness and the stark reality of facing oneself each day and finding the best and the worst one sees there without recourse to the distractions that another’s company may afford.

I live in a distracted world and my personal distractions may add to the cacophony that distils the light and love all around to faint glow in the distance and touch that brushes not envelops. My ‘solo tarrying life’ offers me the opportunity to find the brilliance and the all consuming light and love and carry it through the day to day. Discovering in the process that no matter how solitary I may appear or even endeavour to be I can never be completely solitary for that light and love, that energy I understand to be the Universe links me to all other energy, to a completeness I call Unfathomable and to the heart of me which beats just like all other life, moment to moment.

Solo Tarrying, mmm why come up with that phrase. For me tarry means to spend a while in repose, an enjoyable diversion, a means to stop and stare, a moment to receive fillip for the next part of the journey. Most of all tarrying seems to feel like the activity that has least planning but lots of intent to me.

That I do this alone only heightens and expands doesn’t diminish or denude the power of this activity. I may have ideas, even plans for the way I might execute and carry out my solo tarrying but the most wonderful thing about living a ‘solo tarrying life’ is that it’s not about timetables, schedules, goals and outcomes it’s about intent mine and the Unfathomable and it is in the moments that I glimpse a kind of harmony that I know what true loneliness is and at the same time understand how un-alone I am.

There is that old adage it is cheaper for two to live than one. I’d say there should be a wee caveat to that which says ‘only if both have and do live a solo tarrying life from time to time.’ Otherwise the cost could be ten times more than this one solitary life, not in terms of food, utilities bills etc but in the loss of ability to hear voices other than their own and by that I mean those voices of ‘companions’ unseen and seen like the wind, the trees, the sky, a laugh, an understanding and acceptance of the very best you find in yourself as well as not so best :0) I also mean the voice beyond speech, beyond hearing, beyond understanding, beyond the beyond.

Solitary living for me is a huge adventure, a definite indulgence born not of greed but of need, a daily discovery, awakening and conscious commitment, a way to prick personal and even occasionally others ‘planning balloons’, is way for me to continually re-evaluate and scrutinise the intent with which I live my daily life moment to moment.

Yes I have known the joys personally of the two living as cheaply as one and do not underestimate the bounteous gift this can be. To have a companion who travels the road with you, to explain, expound, seek with another is to glimpse happiness.

However, I would come back to the understanding that the ‘solo tarrying life’ would be as important as this. Maybe that is why at this point in life, I find myself living the ‘solo tarrying life’ without human companion but knowing I am accompanied by many other ‘companions’ and understanding that my small life becomes un-measurable when it acts as anchor for others who may not have this gift given to them. That, in my listening, another may overhear and find their heart smiling as they tarry a while too.

Comments

[Russ Lo Bue]

Thank you for an explanation of what I have begun to understand as my potential life in tarrying mode.

Russ

[Condor]

I have been practicing what you preach, without ever thinking about such ramifications. Wow.....you certainly have given strength to my endeavour. Condor

[Charles]

Wow,

Your heart beats very close to mine. Thank you for expressing something I know but did not know how to say.

[yoyo]

i feel it the same way,very impressive,thanx!