Still Smiling

Just a small note about the LONG silence here.

Yes it has been about ‘THE Man’ and it has been about my health but cannot say that silence here has been matched in day to day life and much has been found and celebrated midst the chaos and calamity of a life filled with life:0)

‘THE Man’ is still in hospital but not for very much longer as funding has been approved for his continuing care and I have managed to find a rather fine Nursing Home that will have a place for him in the very near future. The Nursing Home is appreciably much nearer to my home, which was a decision I wrestled with but felt on balance that it would be good.

Of course because of this final move, as I have carefully found a Nursing Home that is very pro this being 'THE Mans' home till final breath and can care for him with the sensitivity and professionalism required, his council house has needed to be cleared of 90 years of collected…. words do fail me at this moment but when I come back to posting I will tell of some of what I found. It took me 6hrs to reach the back wall of the very small cupboard under the stairs, which may give you some indication of what the job has involved.

Without the help of a dear friend who drove 800 miles to spend three days sifting sorting and taking much to municipal refuse facility I would still be there. As it is I should have been taking a break since last Saturday, a get away from it all time in a cottage at the end of a one vehicle track, off the grid, no phone reception etc. To spend time reading, snoozing, walking with RnB and sitting and playing with needles and mark making tools.

In fact I am quickly writing this on Tuesday morning after yet another long weekend of bodily and ‘THE Man’ delights BUT I am now about to pile all manner of bags and boxes – more for RnB than for me it seems:0) and make my way in to Mid Wales to disappear for four days. Only one person knows how to get hold of me and that will require me walking to the top of the mountain I am staying on or travelling out of the valley for four or five miles.

In the silence that has been this blog much thought and plans have been brewing in the head. Not that anything could be completed, sent by mail or even delivered by hand so anyone who is still waiting communication in whatever form from me please know I know and be a little more patient as it feels as if May might be a month when possibility is joined by actuality:0)

I am excited about the day, excited by the coming days and find each is found complete in the moment and the moment is where I stand alone but infinitely connected. Such joy can only mean I am alive which brings with it responsibility, exhaustion, frustration and despair but most of all it brings moments of blindingly wonderful happiness and for me that seems more than reason enough to smile.

Comments

[Caroline]

You continue to inspire me in so many ways. Take care my friend x

[Caroline in Boulder]

Glad to hear you're still kicking ;p...
also glad that the man will be closer to you so the travel stress will be diminished. I can only imagine what contortions it took to achieve a really compassionate placement for him amidst all the bureaucracy.. sending you hugs.

[Natalie]

Have a very good break (with no breakages!) and come back refreshed and still smiling. Glad you were able to sort things out for the best.

[Beth Westmark]

So glad to hear a word from you -- wish Maggie, Buck & I were there to help with your clearing, cleaning task -- we have been there and can commiserate.

I've popped up again, under a new blog. Come visit when you come back from your rest and (hopefully) recreation.

I've missed you!